How terrible! I start a blog, post a couple times, and then STOP. I wish I could say that I was busy with my lawyers and accountants because I was one of the lucky three that split the $640 million dollar jackpot. But that would be a lie. It seems I had a momentary lapse of creativity. This past weekend would have been my mom’s 76th birthday. I say would have been because she passed away at 57-years-old. Although it has been 19 years of birthdays without her, it is still hard. Shortly after her passing, a friend of hers told me, “You will always miss her, but the pain will become less acute with time.” That is true. I do still miss her terribly, but I am able to talk about her without becoming a blubbering idiot. So since I can, for the most part, talk about her without crying, let’s see if I can type without tears. I would like to introduce you to a wonderful woman I was lucky enough to call mom.
My mom, Dorothy, was the type of mom/woman that made it easy to miss. She was someone people were proud to call their friend. She was a beautiful woman, both inside and out, although she would not be quick to agree. She had lines, not big ones, around her eyes and mouth and she hated them. I, however, loved those lines. They were the type caused by smiling and laughing, which she was quick to do. In fact, we were almost kicked out of a Chinese restaurant for disturbing the other diners with our laughter. And we weren’t even drinking!
She had a kindness that you immediately saw in her beautiful, blue eyes. She was generous, to a fault, and had a difficult time using the word no. She loved being a wife, mother, and friend. And she excelled at all three. She grew up in a small town in Michigan and she never lost that small-town innocence. She could see the best in the worst.
I know I got my love of reading from her and it was the influence she had in my life that made me go after my dream of writing a book. Murder In The Gem State, is not the type of book my mother liked to read. Although, if she were here, she would happily read it because I wrote it. That was who she was. In fact, the mother of the detective in the book, for the most part, was based on my mom. So to have achieved my dream of writing a book, and her not be here to see it happening, is somewhat bittersweet. And I think that is what caused the “block”.
But I am back and writing…because of her. When I started on this journey, I had no plans of being a “one-hit-wonder” Even though she is not with me, physically, she is still with me. And if she were here, she would be cheering me on all the way. She would be calling me daily to see how it was going and giving me words of encouragement to help me through. Whatever it took to help bring to fruition my dream of having several published novels on bookstore shelves.
Although I miss her everyday and I would give anything to have her here, I am so grateful. Grateful that I was blessed to have been able to call her my mom and best friend. But also grateful to be able to say I knew such a wonderful woman.
I hope all of you have also been blessed!
My Drapes Are Open 
That was lovely Lisa.
Though she’s been gone fifteen years now, it still crushes me in unexpected moments. My mom was funny and maddening and I wish more than anything that she could have been around to see my girls grow-up. She passed away when my oldest was twenty-one months and my youngest was two months.
They’ve been fortunate to have my older sister live with us since then, who is often been like a mother to me and has regaled them with the stories of our mother and childhood. I’ll leave the drawbacks to that out for now!
Mom would be astounded and very proud to find out I am writing. It was a not so secret wish of hers to write and I know she’d would have been my biggest fan.
Lynne,
I am glad you liked it. In the back of my mind I was hoping that others, who had lost their mothers also, would see this and post. To know we are not alone and hear stories about other women’s moms sometimes help.
It was difficult when my mom wasn’t there for my wedding and, unfortunately, she never met my husband. But I did not realize that it would feel this way with my writing. I guess any big event, or goal reached, would be the same.
I have no doubt your mother would be proud.of you. And how wonderful that your sister has brought your mother to life, for your girls, through stories. LOL…and maybe the drawbacks could be a new blog post.
Beautiful post, Lisa. My mom is still alive, thank god, but she lives so far from me, on the other side of the world, and the only way of communication is telephone. Her weekly phone calls are like milestones to me now. Another one – she is still well. But she’s 78, and I know she’ll go some day. I dread that day. Thank you for your ‘tribute to mom’ – a tribute to all mothers.
Olga,
I am so glad you liked the post. And I am so happy your mom is still with you! I know it is hard to be so far away but phone calls are wonderful! My dad is till alive, thank God, and it is hard living far. That was the hardest part of moving 2000 miles away…leaving him. It is hard when our parents get older, fear sneaking in at the thought of their passing, but your mom could live another 20+ years. Enjoy every one of them!
Take care and thanks for stopping by!!
Like Lynne, I lost my mum 15 years ago. The one really painful regret I felt on the publication day for Eden’s Garden was that she wasn’t there to share it with me. My mum taught me my love of reading, too. She introduced me to Jane Austen and the Brontes and so many more. I would just love her to read my book and be proud.
It’s such a close relationship, especially because of the physical bond, too. I think our mothers are always with us and are part of us and everything we do. And would be very proud of us all.
Hold on to the memories and celebrate your mom’s life.
Juliet,
Thank you so much! I know when my book gets published I will have the same feelings. But they ARE with us! Your mom was looking down beaming at your success! They are always with us.
I also have to mention how happy I am for you and your book! I follow your blog and I can honestly say it is my FAVORITE blog. As soon as I open it up I feel happy. The stories and pictures are fabulous. Especially the one with it on the table of the bookstore among the other books! You should be very proud! I am anxious for the day I can post similar pictures.
Thanks so much for the post and much success to you!
Beautiful post, Lisa. My daughter and I are very close and I know, when I am gone, it will be very hard on her. I was fortunate in that my mother lived a long and healthy life. And, yes, there are many times when I miss her and my grandmother, with whom I was also very close. She had been the rock of our family and we all felt lost without her for a while.
I am so glad you liked the post! You daughter is lucky to have you around and I am so glad you are close. I think that was the hardest part when my mom passed. Seeing mothers and daughters, close to my age, really hurt. Then I thought…wrong attitude. After that I was grateful those people had what they had.
Thanks so much for your message!
Hey Lisa,
Thanks for this post about your mom. I lost my mom when she was a young 56-and that was almost 15 years ago. Her birthday and other reminders definitely creep up on me and bring out strong emotions. Glad that you’re writing about the ups and downs and as creativity guru, SARK says the ‘magical messy middle’.
Best,
Michele
Dear Lisa,
Thanks for this post about your mom. I lost mine when she was a young 56 years which was 15 years ago. It’s important to remember and celebrate our moms when we can. Glad to see you’re writing during the ‘marvelous messy middle’ as creativity expert SARK says.
Best,
Michele
Michele,
I agree we need to celebrate their lives! We all know that is what they would prefer over grieving the loss. LOL…love that “marvelous messy middle”.
What a gorgeous tribute. You and she shared something very special, indeed.